The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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