My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
