i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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