Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
