im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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