my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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