YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I love you. Go after that dick
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
