after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
