2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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