if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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