doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
