i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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