I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
The air was thick with penises
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
