bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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