did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
