He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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