lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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