You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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