That's intense
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
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