apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I can't turn off my feet"
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
