Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
