my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
