She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
