so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
