The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize