I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
