You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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