I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
