i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
so much tequila, so little girl.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
