Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
