kristin has been a bad kristin
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
