Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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