I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
