I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize
