Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
