It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
