he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
