it wasn't lemon gatorade
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
