dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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