Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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