At least make sure they are 18
Why
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
