She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
