one might say we're banned from that church
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
