nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I puked a lego.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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