easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
