So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
