Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
