sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
