Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize