I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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