oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
And then my night got REAL pukey
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
