Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
