When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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