sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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