bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
she peed on how many people?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
