Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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