I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
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