This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
