Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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