He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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