I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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